tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post4340681636529571744..comments2023-09-07T05:09:13.736-07:00Comments on Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Residual AngerAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03554662447246962880noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-24539789342500570052012-01-08T11:00:54.687-08:002012-01-08T11:00:54.687-08:00It happens. I get that way on a lot of my pieces. ...It happens. I get that way on a lot of my pieces. :)StoryDamhttp://twitter.com/StoryDamnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-24952249638714834332012-01-08T06:52:32.461-08:002012-01-08T06:52:32.461-08:00I'm not seeing the first to third transition s...I'm not seeing the first to third transition so much as the tense switch - I wasn't happy with that but didn't see a way around it. Thanks for reading.kgwaitenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-30114738134952964152012-01-08T06:13:22.928-08:002012-01-08T06:13:22.928-08:00I liked this. You truly capture the tension a lot ...I liked this. You truly capture the tension a lot of us feel around the holidays (or just in general with parents that have no trust in our abilities.) The only suggestion I will make on this is for the last part. This was (first person) dialogue for the entire piece until the last four sentences. Then it switches to a third person narrative. The message was strong, but the transition didn't feel very natural.<br /><br />Aside from that, I think this was great. You definitely captured the realism we were shooting for. Great job. Thanks for participating this week!StoryDamhttp://twitter.com/StoryDamnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-45955155302563693822012-01-07T22:36:24.793-08:002012-01-07T22:36:24.793-08:00I know this pain. Fortunately, I distanced myself ...I know this pain. Fortunately, I distanced myself from my parents until they got it. This is a very realistic piece and a very creative take on the prompt.SAMhttp://frommywriteside.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-82116039442799063882012-01-06T17:16:46.920-08:002012-01-06T17:16:46.920-08:00What a painfully beautiful way to portray the '...What a painfully beautiful way to portray the 'leftover' concept. I love the sharp contrast between the two mother/daughter relationships.Donnanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-9515413427592618662012-01-06T05:59:49.236-08:002012-01-06T05:59:49.236-08:00Beautiful response. I love that your writing is a...Beautiful response. I love that your writing is always tender and real. I thought you used "leftovers" in a really creative and wonderful way, too.Amandahttp://www.lastmomonearth.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-13934658613652499602012-01-05T17:47:34.927-08:002012-01-05T17:47:34.927-08:00I could feel the tension in the dialogue. A perfec...I could feel the tension in the dialogue. A perfect picture of parents too full of themselves to see the strength of their child. <br /><br />Hopefully she'll choose to leave the leftovers behind next year.Reneenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-83228343838941386462012-01-05T09:55:07.208-08:002012-01-05T09:55:07.208-08:00Poignant and artfully written. ReginaPoignant and artfully written. ReginaRegina McIntyrehttp://www.facebook.com/people/Regina-McIntyre/100000606337351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-60701684438480061322012-01-05T06:37:51.492-08:002012-01-05T06:37:51.492-08:00A very poignant peek into a dysfunctional relation...A very poignant peek into a dysfunctional relationship. I like that the main character stood up to her parents without making the confrontation a cliche. Nicely done.Tara R.http://thinspiralnotebook.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-23108829582360680922012-01-05T05:15:00.830-08:002012-01-05T05:15:00.830-08:00On the page the story ended with “Get me a knife, ...On the page the story ended with “Get me a knife, Rose. This roast is a brick.” It would have worked if it stopped there, too. You set the atmosphere so wonderfully in that first bit. Made me want to slap the parents or have her stick the knife in somebody's back. ;) But when I clicked to read on I loved the rest of the story, too. I like how your character stands up to her mother when she says "You ruined one child".Satu Gustafsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-1558885675206597902012-01-03T16:06:52.824-08:002012-01-03T16:06:52.824-08:00Thanks for reading!Thanks for reading!Kgwaitenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-1471033689950118242012-01-03T16:06:30.607-08:002012-01-03T16:06:30.607-08:00Thanks for that catch, Carrie. I'll fix it no...Thanks for that catch, Carrie. I'll fix it now.Kgwaitenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-86243851253090409222012-01-03T15:06:48.636-08:002012-01-03T15:06:48.636-08:00I LOVED the ending. That was awesome. Perfect.
o...I LOVED the ending. That was awesome. Perfect. <br /><br />only critique is minor: you missed some dialogue quotes near the end :)Carriehttp://viewsfromnature.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8009654420271577413.post-41179002350384799682012-01-03T11:53:43.643-08:002012-01-03T11:53:43.643-08:00WOW.... Another one that should be published...I c...WOW.... Another one that should be published...I can't even pick out the parts I liked best because I liked the whole thing!!... and such a creative use of leftovers!jaumnoreply@blogger.com