Thriftless


“Your sentences meander.”  He withdrew a red pen and slashed out a paragraph.

“But…”

“You are thriftless with your words.”  He looked at her from over his reading glasses.  “You must learn to be precise.”

“I…”

He raised his eyebrows.  “For one so verbose on paper, you seem to have little to say now.”

“You’re fired.”  She snatched the manuscript from his desk; fled from his office.

Later, she picked up the phone; called her editor.  “Look, I’m sorry.”  She paused to light her cigarette.

“Concise,” he said.  “I like that.  May I assume I’ve been rehired?”

“Yes,” she replied.   



I'm glad to see Velvet Verbosity's back! This week's 100 word challenge was: Thriftless.

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Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Thriftless

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Thriftless


“Your sentences meander.”  He withdrew a red pen and slashed out a paragraph.

“But…”

“You are thriftless with your words.”  He looked at her from over his reading glasses.  “You must learn to be precise.”

“I…”

He raised his eyebrows.  “For one so verbose on paper, you seem to have little to say now.”

“You’re fired.”  She snatched the manuscript from his desk; fled from his office.

Later, she picked up the phone; called her editor.  “Look, I’m sorry.”  She paused to light her cigarette.

“Concise,” he said.  “I like that.  May I assume I’ve been rehired?”

“Yes,” she replied.   



I'm glad to see Velvet Verbosity's back! This week's 100 word challenge was: Thriftless.

Labels: ,

8 Comments:

At May 10, 2012 at 5:22 PM , Anonymous Leslicollins said...

Excellent reaction piece - this rings so true.

 
At May 10, 2012 at 5:56 PM , Anonymous tamyka said...

Brilliant. Something I can't yet relate to, but would very much like to. Such a tight word limit allows no space for meaningless description; instead, you've given me a crystal-clear image of the characters through their actions, mannerisms and speech. Great effort.

 
At May 11, 2012 at 6:06 AM , Anonymous Annabelle said...

I love how little she actually says in comparison to her supposedly meandering sentences. Nicely done.

 
At May 11, 2012 at 12:08 PM , Anonymous Vodkacalling said...

This is the first time I have heard about the100 word challenge. Sounds like a tough one, I think you did a great job, especially considering you are limited to 100 words.

 
At May 14, 2012 at 10:42 AM , Anonymous Teresa said...

I agree with Annabelle...love the contrast between her "meandering sentences" and her short spoken sentences.

 
At May 14, 2012 at 10:48 AM , Anonymous Jester Queen said...

Haha! I like the editor's sense of patience here. He's clearly used to being fired for telling the truth.

 
At May 14, 2012 at 3:19 PM , Anonymous Arctic Wren said...

Hahahaha!!! Brilliant!

 
At May 15, 2012 at 5:39 PM , Anonymous Ms. Marsha said...

Love. I suspect if I had an editor we'd have exactly that issue!

 

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