Not the First Time...


It wasn’t the first time he hit her. 
He asked if she’d learned her lesson.
She nodded; patted on concealer.  The bottle was nearly empty.
It wasn’t the first time he hit her.  It wouldn’t be the last.

This was written in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge.  We were continue the story that began with the words it wasn't the first time in 33 words.

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Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Not the First Time...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Not the First Time...


It wasn’t the first time he hit her. 
He asked if she’d learned her lesson.
She nodded; patted on concealer.  The bottle was nearly empty.
It wasn’t the first time he hit her.  It wouldn’t be the last.

This was written in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge.  We were continue the story that began with the words it wasn't the first time in 33 words.

Labels:

14 Comments:

At June 2, 2012 at 5:55 PM , Anonymous The Gal Herself said...

The concealer and the bottle are very knowing touches. Nicely done.

 
At June 2, 2012 at 6:13 PM , Anonymous Scriptor Obscura said...

Ooo...I can just picture this so well...What a story. Chilling to the bone!

 
At June 2, 2012 at 6:13 PM , Anonymous Debbie said...

The sadness of the nearly empty bottle of concealer perfectly conveys what's going on here. Excellent writing!

 
At June 2, 2012 at 7:16 PM , Anonymous Ruby Manchanda said...

I am actually sorry for the girl. The story is well written.

 
At June 2, 2012 at 9:48 PM , Anonymous JannaTWrites said...

The nearly empty bottle of concealer made me shudder.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 5:13 AM , Anonymous Sandrasfiberworks said...

Sad! But well done.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 5:24 AM , Anonymous Mary said...

God, that really says it all!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 8:15 AM , Anonymous Elizabeth Rodriguez said...

She nodded; patted on concealer. Using very few words, you've told us a lot about their relationship and about how long this has been going on. Well done!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 11:22 AM , Anonymous Maya Bahl said...

Well done, though it isn't on the happiest matter! I liked how you said a lot in a few lines most!

 
At June 3, 2012 at 1:36 PM , Anonymous justkeepinitrealfolks said...

Very powerful. Sure hope she has the courage to leave before she needs to use the concealer again.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 2:05 PM , Anonymous jaum said...

How you can develop the situation so fully in 33 words is marvelous. Each line has a lot of reader information.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 7:48 PM , Anonymous Who's That Chelle said...

You captured that beautifully. Strong images and emotions evoked from your words.

 
At June 3, 2012 at 9:14 PM , Anonymous Sandra said...

The violence is so well concealed in the matter-of-fact language here, but we feel every bit of heartbreak there is here. Very powerful!

 
At June 5, 2012 at 6:41 AM , Anonymous Trifectawritingchallenge said...

Seems to me, she has two options: buy more concealer or hit the road. Thanks for linking up with this powerful piece. You've said a lot in 33 words.

 

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