Never Never Land

This is what loneliness looks like: I carry the possessions of strangers so they can walk unencumbered down pristine hallways to depart or arrive; to be welcomed by joyous relatives.

I’ve carried laundry bags and golf clubs.  I’ve hauled eighty-pound suitcases.  I’ve carried parrots in cages and bouquets of flowers and even once a stuffed crocodile. 
Janitors buff hallways and run rags down stainless steel banisters before slipping away unnoticed.

Dust motes float across my vision.



Never never land.

Each time I’m handed a baby seat, I’m reminded of what my life was supposed to be.
That day, I took Darcy to the train station.  I carried the baby seat.  She carried Jules. 

They boarded the train and Darcy blew me a kiss through dirt-streaked windows.  Jules waved as the train pulled away. 
I never saw either of them again.

Ever since Darcy took away my daughter, people have drifted away.  My in-laws; our friends; the neighbors.
This is what loneliness feels like: Empty expectations and hollow pits.  Ticking watches with no one to wind them when they fall silent and still.

I have nobody.
But I still can’t shake my shadow.

And with every step I take, it steps, too.
And I wonder if shadows can really feel pain, or if, like marriage, that’s just another child’s fairy tale.

This post was written in response to this weekend's Trifecta Writing Challenge.   We were to write from 33-333 words based upon this photo prompt:




This was also linked up with Yeah, Write.



Labels:

Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Never Never Land

Friday, May 18, 2012

Never Never Land

This is what loneliness looks like: I carry the possessions of strangers so they can walk unencumbered down pristine hallways to depart or arrive; to be welcomed by joyous relatives.

I’ve carried laundry bags and golf clubs.  I’ve hauled eighty-pound suitcases.  I’ve carried parrots in cages and bouquets of flowers and even once a stuffed crocodile. 
Janitors buff hallways and run rags down stainless steel banisters before slipping away unnoticed.

Dust motes float across my vision.



Never never land.

Each time I’m handed a baby seat, I’m reminded of what my life was supposed to be.
That day, I took Darcy to the train station.  I carried the baby seat.  She carried Jules. 

They boarded the train and Darcy blew me a kiss through dirt-streaked windows.  Jules waved as the train pulled away. 
I never saw either of them again.

Ever since Darcy took away my daughter, people have drifted away.  My in-laws; our friends; the neighbors.
This is what loneliness feels like: Empty expectations and hollow pits.  Ticking watches with no one to wind them when they fall silent and still.

I have nobody.
But I still can’t shake my shadow.

And with every step I take, it steps, too.
And I wonder if shadows can really feel pain, or if, like marriage, that’s just another child’s fairy tale.

This post was written in response to this weekend's Trifecta Writing Challenge.   We were to write from 33-333 words based upon this photo prompt:




This was also linked up with Yeah, Write.



Labels:

38 Comments:

At May 19, 2012 at 5:02 AM , Anonymous jaum said...

Great response to a tough challange

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:36 AM , Anonymous Jane George said...

gosh you just ripped my heart out!!!!!! great writing and lovely to find you via the linkup...i am at 3 and 5 this week xxxxxxxx

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:42 AM , Anonymous Tricia said...

Wow this was stunning. Love where you took that prompt.

Stopping by from WOE!

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:51 AM , Anonymous Asproulla said...

Poignant -- a nice take on the prompt. Sad, so that I really hope it's fiction, not memoir...

 
At May 19, 2012 at 7:08 AM , Anonymous The Gal Herself said...

Oh! Your baggage handler reminds me of Eleanor Rigby. You know, the people we deal with each day without ever actually *seeing* them or considering their stories. "All the lonely people, where do they all belong?" (Since I'm a massive Beatle fan, this is high praise, indeed.)

 
At May 19, 2012 at 7:56 AM , Anonymous Renada Styles said...

that was so sad! especially the last line. we have so many hopes and wishes for love and marriage, or at least someone special; however, life cannot be a fairy tale. i learned that the hard way once, it all seemed like it would end well (if it ended at all) but such cannot always be the case. this was a very touching piece, well done.

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:55 PM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

Thank you for reading!

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:56 PM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

Thank you! Definitely part of what I was trying to get across.

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:56 PM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

Fiction--for me, anyway. Thanks for reading!

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:57 PM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

Thanks for stopping by, Tricia!

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:57 PM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

Thanks, Jane.

 
At May 19, 2012 at 5:57 PM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

Thanks!

 
At May 19, 2012 at 6:46 PM , Blogger Darian Wilk said...

Wonderful piece!

 
At May 19, 2012 at 9:43 PM , Anonymous JannaTWrites said...

I like your story, but it is so, so sad. I could feel his isolation and loneliness.

 
At May 20, 2012 at 6:37 AM , Anonymous Mary said...

O my! I was in a pretty cheery mood this morning, cleaning, mopping, shaking rugs, watering plants....hmmm...am I Lonely...

This is most profound, Kelly; I really liked the fact you kept repeating the phrase that continued pulling the mood together.

Really well done.

 
At May 20, 2012 at 6:57 AM , Anonymous Jester Queen said...

Ouch. Take the baby and run, leaving Dad behind holding the bag.

 
At May 20, 2012 at 12:31 PM , Anonymous Trifectawritingchallenge said...

This elicits the feeling of being hollow and insubstantial, like a ghost. You have encapsulated loneliness quite well.
Thanks for playing. Don't forget to come back for the new prompt tomorrow.

 
At May 20, 2012 at 4:17 PM , Anonymous Gina said...

Sad, lonely and empty. I feel for this guy. Great story.

 
At May 21, 2012 at 5:51 AM , Anonymous Ruby Manchanda said...

Painful but then binding. I liked the story.

 
At May 22, 2012 at 8:08 AM , Anonymous Stephanie Brennan said...

Haunting. Nice job on the prompt. As it elicits many questions, like why didn't he ever see them again, and is he looking back through old age, that snippet is told very well. It leaves the reader wanting more.

 
At May 22, 2012 at 8:36 AM , Anonymous Carrie Sieffert said...

Great Story. It was expertly told! It really draws the reader in and makes them feel, sad and curious!

 
At May 22, 2012 at 10:46 AM , Anonymous Mayor Gia said...

Aw, good story. Fits nicely with the picture.

 
At May 22, 2012 at 6:42 PM , Anonymous katieross83 said...

Oh, my, how heartwrenching. Lovely job writing, really...the sadness and loneliness are very apparent. I love what you did with the prompt.

 
At May 22, 2012 at 8:35 PM , Anonymous Tara_pohlkottepress said...

you envoke such loneliness here. haunting.

 
At May 22, 2012 at 8:48 PM , Anonymous Dawn said...

Oh wow, what a well told and sad story. It fits perfectly with the picture. Great job!

 
At May 23, 2012 at 2:23 AM , Anonymous jamieywrites said...

Ah, lovely yet heartwrenching. I love how you add a twist to the prompt.

 
At May 23, 2012 at 7:02 AM , Anonymous SisterhoodoftheSensibleMoms said...

Wow. You worked the hell out of that writing prompt. Wow. Ellen

 
At May 23, 2012 at 9:22 AM , Anonymous Lemonade Lady said...

Awesome job :)

 
At May 23, 2012 at 11:08 AM , Blogger Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool said...

I didn't know this was fiction until I read the comments. Thank goodness, I was very sad. But god, great writing!

 
At May 23, 2012 at 11:12 AM , Anonymous Kathy Kramer said...

Love your fiction. :) Nice work.

 
At May 23, 2012 at 5:45 PM , Anonymous Kimberly Pugliano said...

Oh god I'm so glad that was fiction. I was crying! Awesome job!!!!!!!!!!

 
At May 23, 2012 at 8:01 PM , Anonymous kdwald said...

Really strong response to a pretty awesome prompt. Intense and a little to real for comfort.

 
At May 24, 2012 at 4:07 AM , Anonymous Sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms said...

Very moving. You are a darn good writer. Erin

 
At May 24, 2012 at 7:45 AM , Anonymous AidanDonnelleyRowley said...

Wow. Beautiful and imbued with emotion. Happy to have found your words. Off to check out this Trifecta writing challenge!

 
At May 24, 2012 at 9:11 AM , Anonymous Musings of a Writer Mom said...

So glad that was fiction! Really well written...

 
At May 24, 2012 at 10:49 AM , Anonymous christina said...

um.. wow. that was so... haunting. good stuff!!

 
At May 24, 2012 at 1:58 PM , Anonymous Jackie said...

I'm glad this was fiction because otherwise I'd be asking for MORE! Why? Why?
Great piece!

 
At May 24, 2012 at 2:58 PM , Anonymous Adrienne said...

Fiction? Thank Goodness. Beautifully written.

 

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