Engaged


Lilly Jean hefted a box onto the truck. She rooted around in her bra until she found a handkerchief which she used to mop her forehead. “Hell's bells, it's hot.”

Spank grinned. “I thought ladies weren't supposed to perspire.”

“Ladies ain't supposed to be lifting all this shit, Spank. Whatever happened to chivalry?”


“You're not going to let me lift a box for you. You're far too independent.”

“You sayin' I ain't a lady?” Lilly Jean grabbed another box and swung it into the truck. “I swear I can move two boxes to your one.”

“I'm an old man, Lilly Jean.”

“Fifty-eight is far from old. Age is in your cranium.” Lilly Jean pointed to her head. She wondered about her hair: Was it holding up in this heat? “Leastways that's what I've always believed,” she finished pulling her cell phone from her pocket and pretending to check for texts while she quickly scanned her hair and her nose while she was at it. If she had a boogie when Spank proposed, she would just die.

“My cranium is telling me I'm old.” Spank set his box onto the truck and slid it back. “What are we doing, Lilly Jean?”

“We're loading this here truck, Spank.”

“But why?” He rubbed the small of his back. “Why are we putting ourselves through all this?”

“Pshaw, Spank. You're just tired is all.” She smiled. “Starting a restaurant is a bitch.”

“I wish...” Spank said, looking onto the street that took Bitsy out of town two weeks ago.

“Things can't stay the same all the time, Spank.”

“What are you doing with an old man like me, Lilly Jean? You could have any man in Medford.”

“I don't want any man, Spank.” She smiled and tossed another box onto the truck. “I want you.” And she waited for Spank to pull an engagement ring from his pocket.

He turned and grabbed another box.

~end~

This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge.  The word was "bitch."

Labels:

Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Engaged

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Engaged


Lilly Jean hefted a box onto the truck. She rooted around in her bra until she found a handkerchief which she used to mop her forehead. “Hell's bells, it's hot.”

Spank grinned. “I thought ladies weren't supposed to perspire.”

“Ladies ain't supposed to be lifting all this shit, Spank. Whatever happened to chivalry?”


“You're not going to let me lift a box for you. You're far too independent.”

“You sayin' I ain't a lady?” Lilly Jean grabbed another box and swung it into the truck. “I swear I can move two boxes to your one.”

“I'm an old man, Lilly Jean.”

“Fifty-eight is far from old. Age is in your cranium.” Lilly Jean pointed to her head. She wondered about her hair: Was it holding up in this heat? “Leastways that's what I've always believed,” she finished pulling her cell phone from her pocket and pretending to check for texts while she quickly scanned her hair and her nose while she was at it. If she had a boogie when Spank proposed, she would just die.

“My cranium is telling me I'm old.” Spank set his box onto the truck and slid it back. “What are we doing, Lilly Jean?”

“We're loading this here truck, Spank.”

“But why?” He rubbed the small of his back. “Why are we putting ourselves through all this?”

“Pshaw, Spank. You're just tired is all.” She smiled. “Starting a restaurant is a bitch.”

“I wish...” Spank said, looking onto the street that took Bitsy out of town two weeks ago.

“Things can't stay the same all the time, Spank.”

“What are you doing with an old man like me, Lilly Jean? You could have any man in Medford.”

“I don't want any man, Spank.” She smiled and tossed another box onto the truck. “I want you.” And she waited for Spank to pull an engagement ring from his pocket.

He turned and grabbed another box.

~end~

This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge.  The word was "bitch."

Labels:

17 Comments:

At January 23, 2013 at 12:18 PM , Anonymous Tessa said...

Bummer! Looks like she has to guide him along a little less subtly LOL! Great story!

 
At January 23, 2013 at 12:24 PM , Blogger Sandra Tyler said...

woah. that hurts! I went through a similar experience of that kind of disappointment. though we weren't lifting boxes. We were on a romantic dinner cruise. I went home and slammed a pot against the wall:) your dialogue is stunning.

 
At January 23, 2013 at 1:47 PM , Anonymous Steph said...

It's a bitch getting Spank to realize what he's got in Lily Jean. This is terrific! The dialog and description is vivid and alive!

 
At January 23, 2013 at 3:33 PM , OpenID joe2poetry said...

Men don't do subtlety very well. He'll figure it out in the end.

 
At January 23, 2013 at 4:03 PM , Blogger kymm said...

Something tells me she'll be waiting quite some time for that ring! Great dialogue.

 
At January 23, 2013 at 6:12 PM , Blogger Bo said...

I really enjoyed this!

 
At January 23, 2013 at 6:47 PM , Anonymous barbara said...

oh dear . . . he totally missed all thge hints :)

 
At January 24, 2013 at 6:16 AM , Blogger Deborah Batterman said...

Great title . .. Gotta love her 'rooting around in her bra' while she lifts those boxes.

 
At January 24, 2013 at 7:41 AM , Blogger Atreyee said...

Spank needs a good spanking for being "engaged" otherwise ,when he should have been down on bended knees,holding a lovely ring,proposing to Lilly Jean!I only hope he will get around to it & not keep moping after the long gone Bitsy;-)Great story here:-)

 
At January 24, 2013 at 9:10 AM , Anonymous Latitudes of a Day said...

I wish there was a " Like" button on Blogger.

 
At January 24, 2013 at 9:13 AM , Blogger Managua Gunn said...

Well...this is so good on so many levels.....the dialogue, interaction, movement, tension, attention to detail...how you got inside both their heads who knows, but you really did, and boy do I recognise Spank.
Amazing story.

 
At January 24, 2013 at 10:56 AM , OpenID whispatory said...

Pull it together Spank!

 
At January 24, 2013 at 4:11 PM , Blogger Draug said...

lmao great piece

 
At January 24, 2013 at 4:54 PM , OpenID humantriumphant said...

very realistic characters - nice work

 
At January 24, 2013 at 7:46 PM , Blogger Rachael said...

I love the dialogue, hopefully Spank gets his act together before she gives up on him!

 
At January 24, 2013 at 9:33 PM , Blogger Roxanne said...

Great job with the characterization. Feel sorry for Lilly Jean, but maybe Spank will give her the right little box some day.

 
At January 25, 2013 at 5:30 AM , Blogger Tara R. said...

I really enjoy these characters. They are so real and relatable.

 

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