Detritus

She stands at the window waiting for the trash men to remove the detritus of her life. She'd hidden the last tooth among broken eggshells, swollen coffee grinds, and the bones of chickens.

 This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge. The word was tooth.

Labels:

Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Detritus

Friday, August 9, 2013

Detritus

She stands at the window waiting for the trash men to remove the detritus of her life. She'd hidden the last tooth among broken eggshells, swollen coffee grinds, and the bones of chickens.

 This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge. The word was tooth.

Labels:

18 Comments:

At August 9, 2013 at 9:22 PM , Blogger Jo-Anne Teal said...

The last tooth...a nasty surprise no matter which end of the tooth one is on. I wonder if it's her fragment or someone else's? Perfect usage of detritus - adds to the intrigue :))

 
At August 9, 2013 at 11:50 PM , Blogger The Real Cie said...

I've had nightmares about having teeth fall out. Actually I have very strong teeth, so hopefully this will never happen!

 
At August 10, 2013 at 3:26 AM , OpenID mjshorts said...

A great use of your 33 words. Left me wondering where she's hidden the rest of the body.

 
At August 10, 2013 at 4:45 AM , OpenID lenadealmeida said...

Powerful, regardless of whose last tooth she's hidden.

 
At August 10, 2013 at 6:03 AM , Blogger Rachna said...

This is an amazing visual piece :)

 
At August 10, 2013 at 7:03 AM , Blogger Draug said...

That takes some sinister planning.

 
At August 10, 2013 at 11:37 AM , Blogger Bj√∂rn said...

Got my mind wander to what she had been eating the last few weeks... hamburgers???

 
At August 10, 2013 at 2:27 PM , Blogger Ivy said...

Nice! So much left to interpretation. I saw it as her slowly disposing of the man she knocked off. But where is the rest of him? Hopefully somewhere vacuum sealed to keep out the odor. :)

 
At August 11, 2013 at 6:42 AM , Blogger Trifecta said...

Yes! I love this. I love the word 'detritus' and have actually been accused of overusing it. I'm glad to see it here. Great job with your 33.

 
At August 11, 2013 at 10:36 AM , Anonymous Jenna said...

Ooh, I want to read more about this.

 
At August 12, 2013 at 4:16 AM , Blogger j umbaugh said...

Completely grabs reader's attention in 33 words..

 
At August 12, 2013 at 8:20 AM , Blogger kymm said...

I knew someone was watching me!
Congrats!

 
At August 12, 2013 at 8:54 AM , OpenID trudgingthroughfog said...

"Detritus" is an amazing word. You and I were thinking along the same lines, I see - great company for me to be in! :) Congrats on the Trifecta win!

 
At August 12, 2013 at 9:05 PM , Blogger Kallan Annie said...

Oh, this is terrific. I love the ambiguity, the mood, the language ("detritus," "swollen coffee grinds"), and the great swathes of story encapsulated in those thirty-three words. You totally earned the first place win!

 
At August 13, 2013 at 4:44 AM , Anonymous susan said...

Very powerful!

 
At August 14, 2013 at 5:54 AM , Blogger Alison McDonough said...

So much said in so few words!

 
At August 14, 2013 at 5:55 AM , Blogger Alison McDonough said...

So much said in so few words!

 
At August 14, 2013 at 11:54 AM , Blogger Ruby Manchanda said...

Congratulations. This is awesome piece

 

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