She watches the fallout as he chews
open-mouthed.
She snaps open the newspaper. He
recoils at the gale.
"Feels like we bin married a
thousand years."
He pokes at a crumb and nods.
This was written for this weekend's Trifecta Writing Challenge in which we were to use hyperbole in thirty-three words.
and...it's what's not said here that speaks thousands of words.
ReplyDeletegood work
Thanks, Lance - When is the book release?
DeleteThis is very good.
ReplyDeleteI vote you the winner, if we were voting, that is. Sigh. :( This is really good. You've painted a whole story here in 33 words. Excellent. You should win. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Scriptor! Looking forward to reading your piece.
DeleteI'm curious now as to what brought these two to that point.
ReplyDeleteGreat entry!
I think they're just tired of each other...
DeleteOh, those thousand-year marriages! THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING! [In my hyperbolic way, reiterating Lance's comment] Nice piece, Kelly.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kymm.
DeleteAh, that silent tension. Definitely feeling the vibes haha :D
ReplyDeleteThanks, Draug!
DeleteThis is great...opening the newspaper creates a gale... Nice work :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband actually does that. Gale force winds when he turns a page in the newspaper.
DeleteWhat a profound piece-love the way it speaks volumes on a lo..ng marriage;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteFor some reason I pictured them as young, as if their marriage got stale way to quick. But how well you captured that yawning abyss of boredom that can develop!
ReplyDeleteI'm picturing them older--at least the kids are all out of the house. This was extracted from a longer story I'm working on. Thanks for reading!
DeleteI think I was in a marriage like this. Way too real. Nice job!
ReplyDelete"You can't really hate someone after you just met them. To real loathe a person you have to have been married to them for years!" Good piece!
ReplyDeleteyour'e so good. I don't think I'd even attempt this challenge...too hard!
ReplyDelete