Dinosaur


After school, me ‘n Jack head down Main to Millie’s place.  The bell over the door jangles to announce us.  Millie looks up with a big grin on her face.  She shoos some old dinosaur from one of the tables.  “You scoot now, Frank.”

“Why, Millie, I ain’t…”

“You bin setting there drinking my coffee all day.  There’s a limit to free refills, you know.”  She wipes down the table, slings the bar towel back over her shoulder, and hands me a menu.  “You boys best be hungry.  I got me some bills to pay.”

Frank makes his way to the breakfast bar, seats himself on a swinging stool, watches us with narrowed eyes. 

We order a pizza, large—mushrooms, olives, sausage.  We watch Millie sashay away, swinging those perfect hips in just the right way.

Frank puts up his hand.  “I’ll have the same as they’re having.”

“Ya’ ain’t never bought no pizza before, Frank.  Ya’all said you had gluten issues.”

“I want a pizza, Millie.”

“You paying for it?  Pizza costs a hell of a lot more than thirty-five cent coffee and there ain’t no free refills.”

“I got money.”

She sighs and shakes her head.  “I don’t know why I trust you,” she says as she pushes through the double doors into the kitchen.

Jack picks up a package of crackers, smashes them on the table.  He tears them open, smears the crumbs on the tabletop, crushes them into even smaller bits, laughing.

“You should be ashamed,” Frank says, after watching for a time.

“Oh, leave ‘em be.”  Millie says.  She brings out two silver platters with our pizzas.   “They’re just kids.”   

 Frank cuts himself a slice of pizza, rolls it up like a length of carpet, and takes a bite.  “I was you boys, once upon a time.  Look at me now.”  He pulls a twenty from his pocket; tosses it on the bar.

And the cheese from my pizza sticks to the roof of my mouth and burns.

This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge.  The word was dinosaur.
 

Labels:

Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Dinosaur

Monday, August 27, 2012

Dinosaur


After school, me ‘n Jack head down Main to Millie’s place.  The bell over the door jangles to announce us.  Millie looks up with a big grin on her face.  She shoos some old dinosaur from one of the tables.  “You scoot now, Frank.”

“Why, Millie, I ain’t…”

“You bin setting there drinking my coffee all day.  There’s a limit to free refills, you know.”  She wipes down the table, slings the bar towel back over her shoulder, and hands me a menu.  “You boys best be hungry.  I got me some bills to pay.”

Frank makes his way to the breakfast bar, seats himself on a swinging stool, watches us with narrowed eyes. 

We order a pizza, large—mushrooms, olives, sausage.  We watch Millie sashay away, swinging those perfect hips in just the right way.

Frank puts up his hand.  “I’ll have the same as they’re having.”

“Ya’ ain’t never bought no pizza before, Frank.  Ya’all said you had gluten issues.”

“I want a pizza, Millie.”

“You paying for it?  Pizza costs a hell of a lot more than thirty-five cent coffee and there ain’t no free refills.”

“I got money.”

She sighs and shakes her head.  “I don’t know why I trust you,” she says as she pushes through the double doors into the kitchen.

Jack picks up a package of crackers, smashes them on the table.  He tears them open, smears the crumbs on the tabletop, crushes them into even smaller bits, laughing.

“You should be ashamed,” Frank says, after watching for a time.

“Oh, leave ‘em be.”  Millie says.  She brings out two silver platters with our pizzas.   “They’re just kids.”   

 Frank cuts himself a slice of pizza, rolls it up like a length of carpet, and takes a bite.  “I was you boys, once upon a time.  Look at me now.”  He pulls a twenty from his pocket; tosses it on the bar.

And the cheese from my pizza sticks to the roof of my mouth and burns.

This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge.  The word was dinosaur.
 

Labels:

17 Comments:

At August 27, 2012 at 8:21 PM , Anonymous Jeanna said...

I can imagine Millie sashaying. I was drawn right in. Good job!

 
At August 28, 2012 at 1:06 AM , Anonymous Fi Phillips said...

Great piece of writing. You have a wonderful ear for dialogue.

 
At August 28, 2012 at 4:02 AM , Blogger lumdog2012 said...

Yes, very good story with great dialogue. I was in Millie's with your characters.

 
At August 28, 2012 at 4:22 AM , Anonymous Kgwaite said...

noreply-comment@blogger.com



7:02 AM (19 minutes ago)














to me















lumdog2012 has left a new comment on your post "Dinosaur":

Yes, very good story with great dialogue. I was in Millie's with your characters.

 
At August 28, 2012 at 9:48 AM , Anonymous Annabelle said...

Love the phrase "rolls it up like a length of carpet." This makes me wonder exactly how old the dinosaur actually is.

 
At August 28, 2012 at 11:13 AM , Anonymous Linda Vernon said...

Oh I like this place. It moves right along! Well done. :D

 
At August 28, 2012 at 6:52 PM , Anonymous Comingeast.com said...

I know whenever I need a bit of entertainment just where I need to go. Well done, as usual!

 
At August 28, 2012 at 9:21 PM , Anonymous JannaTWrites said...

Good for Frank - if they are old enough to go order pizza, they are old enough to not make a cracker mess on the table! (Sorry, my years of waitressing have scarred me...you wouldn't believe what people do to the tables.)

Um, obviously your story was realistic. Sorry it got me ranting :)

 
At August 29, 2012 at 7:38 AM , Anonymous Sandra Tyler said...

lol, loved this! So imaginative! Would love to have you hook up with my writing workshop community some time....

 
At August 29, 2012 at 7:46 AM , Anonymous Tara R. said...

A burnt mouth served the boy right. Your dialogs and descriptions are always so realistic and well done.

 
At August 29, 2012 at 10:57 AM , Anonymous Jessie Powell said...

Zap! I loved that conclusion - the way he just kills them with his exit line and shoots all their assumptions, Millie's too, right to hell.

 
At August 29, 2012 at 4:00 PM , Anonymous Annette Mickelson said...

Ouch! in more ways than one.

 
At August 29, 2012 at 11:58 PM , Anonymous Viviblake said...

In other words, the boys will soon be dinosaurs like Frank.

 
At August 30, 2012 at 12:50 AM , Anonymous Roger Cohen said...

Very atmospheric. I can visualise the whole scene. Nicely done.

 
At August 30, 2012 at 10:36 AM , Anonymous Carrie said...

I love the flavor you create with your scenes. The small town country feel, that twang in the speech.

Fun read :)

 
At August 30, 2012 at 9:12 PM , Anonymous Christine said...

I love the cohesiveness of this piece - it's a complete story, which is so hard in 333 words. The dialog is very well written, too. Great job!

 
At August 31, 2012 at 3:48 AM , Anonymous Trifectawritingchallenge said...

I'm with Janna. I've done my time as a waitress, and the work is not for the faint of heart. People can be terrible when they eat. This is a really nice piece. I love the language, and I really love the ending. Nice work!

 

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