Doctored


Ellen picks up on the first ring. "Hello."

"Ellen." Sharon. BFF and all that.

"Yeah?"

"You ever take a look at those online dating sites?"

"Sharon, I've been officially divorced for.." Ellen consults her watch. "...all of two hours and twenty-seven minutes. Lemmie let it sink in."


"Bobby has."

"Bobby has what?"

"Looked at the dating sites. All of them."

"Well good for him. He's a free man. He's an idiot, but he's a free man."

"Ellen, you need to know..."

"What Bobby does now is his own business. Let him climb the Empire State Building for all I care."

"Did you know Bobby runs marathons?"

Ellen chokes on her coffee. "Must've taken up jogging in the past couple of hours."

"And that he was the valedictorian of his college class?"

Ellen narrows her eyes. "Bobby didn't go to college."

"Well he most certainly did. He is a heart surgeon, after all." Sharon bursts into gales of laughter. "You should see his picture. Twenty years old, at least."

Ellen laughs. "Well, let the poor sop who chooses him figure it out. I'm done with him."

"Never married. No kids," Sharon reads.

"Wait a blasted minute. What did you say?"

"No kids."

Ellen slams down the phone, sits up in her chair and fires up her computer. She finds her ex-husband online; smiles at his photograph. "You look real good, Bobby. But we can fix that, can't we?"

She guesses his password on the first try. "Forget you married a hacker, you hack?" she asks.

She downloads his photograph and saves it to his desktop. "Let me doctor the surgeon," she says, adding a wrinkle here, a pimple there. She inserts a double...no a triple chin. "That will do nicely," she says. She uploads the photograph, resets her ex-husband's password and shuts down her computer.

Ellen answers the telephone on the first ring. "Hello."

"Ellen," Sharon says. "What did you do?"

Ellen smiles. "How does he look?"

"Horrible." Sharon laughs. "Well done."

~end~

This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge. The word was doctor.



Labels:

Writing in the Margins, Bursting at the Seams: Doctored

Monday, February 25, 2013

Doctored


Ellen picks up on the first ring. "Hello."

"Ellen." Sharon. BFF and all that.

"Yeah?"

"You ever take a look at those online dating sites?"

"Sharon, I've been officially divorced for.." Ellen consults her watch. "...all of two hours and twenty-seven minutes. Lemmie let it sink in."


"Bobby has."

"Bobby has what?"

"Looked at the dating sites. All of them."

"Well good for him. He's a free man. He's an idiot, but he's a free man."

"Ellen, you need to know..."

"What Bobby does now is his own business. Let him climb the Empire State Building for all I care."

"Did you know Bobby runs marathons?"

Ellen chokes on her coffee. "Must've taken up jogging in the past couple of hours."

"And that he was the valedictorian of his college class?"

Ellen narrows her eyes. "Bobby didn't go to college."

"Well he most certainly did. He is a heart surgeon, after all." Sharon bursts into gales of laughter. "You should see his picture. Twenty years old, at least."

Ellen laughs. "Well, let the poor sop who chooses him figure it out. I'm done with him."

"Never married. No kids," Sharon reads.

"Wait a blasted minute. What did you say?"

"No kids."

Ellen slams down the phone, sits up in her chair and fires up her computer. She finds her ex-husband online; smiles at his photograph. "You look real good, Bobby. But we can fix that, can't we?"

She guesses his password on the first try. "Forget you married a hacker, you hack?" she asks.

She downloads his photograph and saves it to his desktop. "Let me doctor the surgeon," she says, adding a wrinkle here, a pimple there. She inserts a double...no a triple chin. "That will do nicely," she says. She uploads the photograph, resets her ex-husband's password and shuts down her computer.

Ellen answers the telephone on the first ring. "Hello."

"Ellen," Sharon says. "What did you do?"

Ellen smiles. "How does he look?"

"Horrible." Sharon laughs. "Well done."

~end~

This was written for this week's Trifecta Writing Challenge. The word was doctor.



Labels:

33 Comments:

At February 25, 2013 at 7:16 PM , OpenID theeclecticeccentricshopaholic said...

"He's an idiot, but he's a free man." hahaha loved it

 
At February 25, 2013 at 7:21 PM , OpenID jannatwrites said...

Hehe...great story of revenge! Funny how the denial of having kids set her off.

Should the "what" in this sentence: "What a blasted minute" be "wait"?

 
At February 25, 2013 at 8:46 PM , Blogger tedstrutz said...

'Chokes on her coffee'... I love it! Very clever with the doctor surgeon.

 
At February 25, 2013 at 10:15 PM , Blogger November Rain - k~ said...

Revenge is a dish best served... through a server? This probably ought not to have made me laugh as hard as it did... but it did!

Great write!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 3:29 AM , Blogger Rambly T said...

Oh sweet revenge - wouldn't it be lovely, this was comical and enjoyable to read - thank you. :-)

 
At February 26, 2013 at 4:21 AM , Anonymous sandra tyler said...

lol. you have such an ear.

 
At February 26, 2013 at 5:04 AM , OpenID mindofshoo said...

Very amusing! What a fun read. I would have done the same. And probably more.

 
At February 26, 2013 at 6:38 AM , Blogger Draug said...

You don't mess with the kids, haha! :D Funny piece!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 6:57 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At February 26, 2013 at 7:19 AM , Blogger Kir said...

HEE!!
he deserved it. I mean we all want to be someone else online, but few of us know how to do that CORRECTLY.
her revenge was harmless (it is HIM) and sweet. ;)

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:21 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thanks!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:21 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Yes. Thanks so much for that catch.

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:22 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thank you! Wanted to try something other than doctoring with a recipe, which was my first inclination.

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:22 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thanks so much!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:22 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thank you for reading!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:22 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thanks, Sandra. You still snowed in?

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:23 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

I think she enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:23 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thanks for reading, Draug!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 8:24 AM , Blogger Kelly Garriott Waite said...

Thanks, Kir! And thanks for the follow!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 3:31 PM , Blogger kymm said...

Doctor the surgeon FTW. Very funny, Kelly!

 
At February 26, 2013 at 3:41 PM , Blogger Carrie said...

LOL! Great revenge! I love that she doesn't care what he says until he denies kids. Typical Mama Bear protecting her cubs ;)

 
At February 26, 2013 at 4:47 PM , Blogger Tara R. said...

Doctored the "doctor," well played!

 
At February 27, 2013 at 7:24 AM , Blogger Bee said...

"Let me doctor the surgeon" <--so awesome. I love this story.

 
At February 27, 2013 at 8:31 AM , Anonymous barbara said...

sauce for the goose - sauce for the gander. :)

 
At February 27, 2013 at 8:38 AM , Blogger lumdog2012 said...

I really enjoyed this. What a satisfying story. And, it's great she changed the password. Now she can go in and "doctor" to her heart's content. Great entry.

 
At February 27, 2013 at 8:57 AM , Anonymous Kitty said...

I liked this. Revenge is so uplifting. :-)

 
At February 27, 2013 at 9:33 AM , Blogger Banker Chick said...

Very funny, sweet revenge is the best!

 
At February 27, 2013 at 10:27 AM , Blogger j umbaugh said...

A DEAPRTURE FOR YOU AND A GREAT ONE!

 
At February 27, 2013 at 2:42 PM , Anonymous steph said...

Forget you married a hacker! I love that. And doctoring the surgeon is a terrific use of the prompt.

 
At February 28, 2013 at 1:54 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At February 28, 2013 at 2:53 AM , Anonymous Lance said...

Hilarious! I like how you used dialogue and their chemistry to tell everything. Terrific work, KG

 
At February 28, 2013 at 11:26 PM , Blogger Atreyee said...

What a heady mix of humour & revenge-ingenious use of the prompt too!Loved it-my favourite so far,Kelly:-)

 
At March 1, 2013 at 3:49 AM , Blogger Victoria KP said...

Love it! Call yourself whatever you want but DON'T deny your family. Excellent use of the prompt word!

 

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